The Gundam Wing Safehouse
by kazumigirl
Summary: Big Bertha, George Bush, and Goku move in next door to the G-boys. But what are the g-boys like when they are at home doing what they do best? What do they do best? No, I am not in this story. I hate it when people put themselves in stories, so incase you
1. Default Chapter

The Gundam Wing Safe House  
  
Disclaimer: I can do this... I know I can... Hi, my name is Erika, and Im an ach- I mean I own Gundam- I mean I don't own Gundam Wing!!!!! *Pant* Man, disclaimers are tough work.  
  
Have you ever wondered what goes on inside the Gundam Safe house? Where our g-boys rest before a mission. Where Duo first read Heero's diary. Where Trowa got headlice. Let's take a peek inside and see what it was like. We sent three random people, oh let's just call them Goku, George Bush, and Big Bertha for now, to investigate the enviroment of the fangirl- magnet home that everyone has wanted to see.  
  
Goku, George Bush, and Big Bertha, moved into a house right next door to the the safe house. The safe house was covered in weeds and looked like an old beat up shack. Goku smiled and went to greet his new neighbors. He traveled through the many weeds and fell into a hole. I know Goku can fly and teleport, but to make this fic work, he forgot how.  
  
Goku: A little help. Please? Hello? I seem to be stuck! Oh neighbors!!!!  
  
Heero *From inside*: Duo, did you hear something?  
  
Duo: Meh.  
  
Heero: Huh?  
  
Duo: Meh?  
  
Heero: Why?  
  
Duo: Meh.  
  
Heero: When?  
  
Duo: Meh  
  
Heero: Where?!  
  
Duo: Meh?  
  
Heero: Oh dear God!!!!!  
  
Quatre: Heero, you can understand Duo?!  
  
Heero: Of course not.  
  
Goku *out in the distance*: Help!!!!  
  
Quatre: Did you hear that?  
  
Heero: Yes.  
  
Quatre: Well, shouldn't we go investigate?  
  
Heero: Yes. *just keeps sitting*  
  
Finally, Heero walked outside to investigate. He looked down into his Relena hole and saw something. Assuming it was Relena, he began to point and laugh at it. A single tear rolled down Goku's cheek.  
  
Goku: Don't laugh. Im frightened and trapped.  
  
Heero stopped laughing, frowned, then roared all over again.  
  
Quatre peered out the window.  
  
Quatre: Oh God!!!! Heero's having a seizure!!!!!! Duo, we have to help him!!!!!  
  
Duo: Having a seizure, eh?  
  
Quatre: At first I thought he was laughing, but then I remembered that to Heero a tiny smirk is roaring foot stomping laughter! And now he is roaring, foot-stomping, laughing!!!!!  
  
George Bush just happened to hear Goku's saddness, because the next minute, he was over there. Frowning at the crazed Heero.  
  
Goku: Help me, George!!!!!!  
  
George Bush kneeled down to help Goku up, but suddenly Heero kicked him in. The two neighbors glared at Heero and shook a fist. Heero shook one back.  
  
A mysterious cackle: Heedlo!!!! Oh, Heedlo?!!!!  
  
Heero screamed like a monkey and ran into the safe house on all fours.  
  
Relena: Oh, I dont see Heedlo. Oh, I have to take a huge crap, better do it in this conviently placed hole.  
  
George and Goku: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero*peering out the window*: Fall in, in you murderous cow.  
  
Relena fell into the hole with a moo  
  
Suddenly, a tiny car drove by Heero. Out came Trowa.  
  
Trowa: Im back from work.  
  
Heero: You have a job?  
  
Trowa: No. I lied. My life is miserable. Now Im going to go rake the leaves outside.  
  
Heero sees Trowa walk outside and start scraping up leaves with his hair.  
  
Quatre: I wonder where Wufei is.  
  
Wufei( In a peaceful forest): Ahh, a nice place to relax.  
  
Suddenly, a rainbow appears.  
  
Wufei: What a pretty rainbow.  
  
Suddenly, the rainbow bursts with skittles, trapping poor Wufei. He quickly struggles to free himself from the river of candy.  
  
Chapter two... coming soon  
  
Author's note: This story was retarted I know, but I might make a second chapter if anyone liked it so far. 


	2. The insanity cures every known physical ...

Chapter 2: The insanity cures every known physical Disease

but increases every known mental one....

Heero: *looks out the window*

Quatre: Heero, what in Zech's name are you doing?

Heero: I can smell it

Quatre: What?

Heero: *sniffs the air*

Quatre: What? What do you smell?

Heero: It

Quatre: *growing very annoyed* Well, what is "It"?

Heero: That...thing

Quatre: What thing?!

Heero:*starts to sob*

Quatre: ...

Heero: It's caused me so much pain! *Sob* I mean, I thought killing ten billion men would cause me to cry, but instead it's *sob* it's *Sob* That.... *starts shaking so hard he can't answer*

Quatre: Heero...I'm sorry, but you must tell me. I can't help you if I don't know

Somewhere out in the distance: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOO!!!!!!

Quatre: Oh. I see

Heero: Why?! Why can't it leave me alone!?!

Out in the distance: *a horrible screechy yell* I"M COMING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heero: *panicky sob* Oh No!!!!!

*Heero wipes his eyes and stands up*

Out in the distance: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *rumbling sound*

Heero: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Quatre: Heero pull yourself together, man!!!!

*Slaps Heero*

*Heero blows up on impact the second Quatre's hand touches his face*

Quatre: *Now standing in the fog of an overloaded Heero* Uh Oh...

*******************************************************************************

Later...

Duo: Ahh... nothing beats a cool skinny dip in a secluded forest pond

*Takes off clothes*

*Random fangirl runs by and snatches them without Duo knowing* (Just say you're that fangirl)

Duo: oops, better fold my clothes first

*Sees clothes are gone*

Duo: Ah! My clothes! It must have been __________(insert your name here)

Duo: Oh wells, life goes on

*The beautiful, and now very naked gundam pilot steps into the pond*

Duo: Ahhh....this is the life

*******************************************************************

Erika: Sorry to take you away from the story for a minute, but if you don't remember what happened to Wufei in ch.1, you need to go back and read it now. That is all!

*******************************************************************

Duo: Mmm... this water feels so good!

*The sky is a beautiful sunsety color, and a gentle breeze blows by as the sounds of ambulances drive fangirls to the hospital of heart attacks from this scene of Duo beautifully and nudely bathing*

*Something rustles in the bushes*

Duo: Hmm? Some animal must be trapped

*Stands up, still butt naked*

Duo: Don't worry, little guy, I'll get you out

*Duo tugs at something in the bushes*

* 'Tis not an animal in the bushes, but Wufei elaborately dressed in a skimpy pixie outfit with make up on*

Wufei: *in some elagant accent* Skittles, taste the rainbow

Duo:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Suddenly, an avalance of skittles begin to fall on poor naked Duo, staining his nude body with little color droplets*

*************************************************************************************************************************************

*Meanwhile, Quatre is sadly eating dinner, tears dripping into his food as he remembers Heero.*

Quatre: Oh, Heero, why did you have to blow up on impact when I slapped you across the face!?

Trowa: *quits eating and stares at Quatre*

Quatre: What are you staring at, Clown Boy?

Trowa: *angrily frowns and shoots water from a flower he's wearing on his shirt at Quatre's face*

Quatre: Hey! This is a brand new shirt, Bozo!

Trowa: *bares teeth and throws a sizzling hot pie in Quatre's face*

Quatre: My face! My beautiful face! What's wrong, paint face, can't take a joke?

*You see Trowa loading Quatre into a cannon* 'Nuff said.

*Heero walks in*

Heero: Mmm... Dinner smells good.

Quatre: *poking his head out just enough to see Heero* Heero! You're alive!

* Trowa pokes Quatre's head back in*

Heero: Well, of course I'm alive

Quatre: But earlier when I slapped you, you blew up

Heero: Right...

A dark shadow at the window: *In a digitally enhanced monster voice* Heedo...

Heero: *melts*

Quatre: See?! See?! What'd I tell you, Trowa?!

Trowa: You told me he blew up.

*****************************************************************

*Meanwhile next door*

George Bush: We have got to stop those neighbors

Goku: I know, they pushed me into a hole

Big Bertha: I know how

*George and Goku look at her*

Big Bertha: No one ever outsmarts Big Bertha

George Bush: *giggling* Like you could fit into a hole anyway

*Through the window you see Quatre go flying with a blood curdling scream*

Big Bertha: Just leave it to me, darlins

The end, for now


End file.
